Success breeds success - and how to keep it that way

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Ever noticed how success breeds success? Sometimes it works the other way too. How can you interrupt any negative loop and set yourself back on an upwards spiral?

You are feeling good today, the client's just paid 50% up front. You've picked up a new contract to dovetail with your current assignment. Everything's going well. You can't put a foot wrong.

Why isn't every day like this?

NLP, or Neuro-Linguistic Programming has the answer. NLP studies how language (linguistics) affects our thinking (neurology) and the programs (patterns) we use to create our behaviours.

Using a technique known as modelling, NLP can pull apart how to remain motivated and breed success from bad days as well as good. NLP is the best tool to improve your client relationships, make your communication more influential, and ultimately make you more money.

So let's get back to that good day. How does it work?

NLP says that the mind and body are connected in a feedback loop. This means that what you think, the pictures you make in your head, the words you say to yourself, the sounds you hear and the way you hold and move your body affect your behaviour and therefore your results. This feeds back into your body and mind and creates new results, good or bad.

So, in the opening example, you're having a good day. You walk with a swing in your step.

If on some other day the client hasn't paid for 90 days and no new work is on the horizon, you may walk with your head down. You could be less patient with clients.

If you're feeling good and smile at clients, the result is that they smile back, and extend your assignment. On the other hand, if you feel bad, and snap at them, they snap back, and choose not to extend.

Now based on what the client does, you feel better or worse. Either way it's a feedback loop. You know this - success breeds success.

Conversely, if you feel bad, you snap, the client snaps back, which means you feel worse, so you snap back and the the cycle of negativity continues.

From an NLP perspective, the way to influence your state is to change your internal processes or the way you use your body.

Here are three things you can do to interrupt that negative loop:

• put a new picture in your head

• replace the words and sounds in your head

• move around

Here are some practical ways to do this:

Put a new picture in your head

If you find yourself spiraling downwards, concentrate on a positive picture. This dispels any negative pictures you may be making unawares.

The picture could be a real one from a book or magazine, or it could be a strong, positive memory.

Try picturing something you want, (yacht, a car, million-dollar view?). Or something you have (yacht, car, million dollar view?). Or something you love (your kids, partner, pet). Essentially, it must be a strong positive image for you.

Replace the words and sounds in your head

Secondly replace the words and sounds in your heads with more positive ones.

This is the theory behind affirmations. By saying "Every day in every way I'm getting better and better" you can jam the other things your negative self-talk can come up with (e.g. "you're a failure").

You can also lift your mood with music. Pay attention to the lyrics. Replacing negative self-talk with "I'm just a teenage dirt bag" may be less than effective than "Everyone's a winner babe". Music without lyrics will do too! Just make sure you like the music.

You can listen to real music or you can just replay it in your head.

Take a walk somewhere

Thirdly, move. Ideally, take a short walk somewhere you like. If you can't leave the room, then get up and grab a coffee or a spare pen - just moving can break the cycle. Change seats, sit back in your chair - change how you hold yourself.

If you can stretch a little that also helps. Pectorals, hamstrings, or calves will release tension effectively. Do it in the loo if you have to.

Success breeds success, you know that. If you find yourself creating other progeny, take the time to re-program yourself. Interrupting the pattern for a moment or two, with one of these ideas (or a combination of them), will put you back on track again.

Cindy Tonkin is a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) trainer and the Consultants' Consultant. She runs regular NLP training's in Sydney, and has written two books on Consulting. You can contact her at cindy@cindytonkin.com or read more articles like this one on www.consultantsconsultant.com.au.

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